He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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