I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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