The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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