it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I smell like Dick and happiness
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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