There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
