she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
