Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
where are you?
Hypothermia
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
