My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
