Midget sex pt 2 tonight
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My vagina just recognized that song.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
