I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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