So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
