but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
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