i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
