I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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