Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
