My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I stole a fireplace last night.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
