Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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