just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
