we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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