I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Can i not drive my cunt home
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
