Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
