I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
