what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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