There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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