I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
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They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
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Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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