She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
