I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
