i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
