Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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