Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
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