Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so let's talk penis.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
