The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize