Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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