Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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