Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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