so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
