I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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