Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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