It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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