Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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