Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just gargled with NyQuil
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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