He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Hippo gnu deer
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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