Where are you?
In a non slutty way
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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