out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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