Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
