ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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