If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize