3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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