is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
