An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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