I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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