Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
