I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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