he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize