Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
