Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
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woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
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I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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