quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
