I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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