I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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