he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
