You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
