they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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