I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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