Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
