where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
