two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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