he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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