Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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