Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
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