Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
