Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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