i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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